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[Jan 29 2009 / 1:26am] |
I know, I've been all emotional lately, but something hit me tonight.
Saying goodbye is literally the hardest thing for my mind to comprehend or come to terms with.
Like, harder than waiting (for anything) or being alone, or being disappointed. It's a little ridiculous how difficult it is for me to say goodbye.
I don't know, maybe I need priority check.
Oh, and note to self. Push.
Edit:///////////////////
I already know how it ends. It's not a fun feeling.
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| In summary. |
[Jan 21 2009 / 7:00pm] |
Sometimes I feel like it won't be enough, and I'm afraid that you'll give up.
Sometimes I can't believe you when you say things like that.
Sometimes I feel dumb for being willing to try so hard.
Sometimes I'm nervous about everything, everything.
Sometimes I think I'm pushing too hard.
Sometimes I find myself in complete awe of how gorgeous you are. Really really gorgeous.
Sometimes I get really nervous that there will be too many around you and the temptation grows so strongly that you forget how things are supposed to be.
Sometimes I feel like I could fall harder than ever ever before. In a good way.
In summary.
Watching American Idol makes me sorry for the world. I'm waiting for that moment where I can concretely and definitively say "I'm going to New York City in the fall. I couldn't be more excited, thanks!" Lately, thanks to my parents mostly, I cannot be sure about anything relating to college. I just got into my fifth school yesterday; only a year ago I could have sworn that I was going to go there for sure. I was so sure of my attendance that I completely ruled everything else out. I wasn't too smart then. Now, it's a back-up school for me. Savannah College of Art & Design.
Now it's all about The School of Visual Arts. I've been accepted, and there is a legitimate chance of my attending. I am willing to do pretty much anything to go there, short of work the street corner. I've got someone in mind who would make New York completely completely 100% more worthwhile and enjoyable and interesting. :) I'm beyond excited to be with Rachelle while she goes to AMDA. It's just about riding the wave and getting the go -ahead.
That's all for now. Maybe I should start writing more often. I don't know.
Oh! Yay for Barack! :)
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[Jan 10 2009 / 10:42pm] |
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I don't think you quite understand.
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[Jan 05 2009 / 1:22am] |
I want you to feel me.
I want you to need me.
I want you to invest in me.
I want you to understand "us".
I want to give everything I have.
I want everything you have to offer.
I want to hold you, and be held by you.
I want you to give everything you have.
I want you to want everything I have to offer.
I want you to hold on more tightly than ever before.
I'm not like anyone else. I will do whatever it takes...
if you will too.
New Year. Senior year. New things. New places. New ideas.
I'm here to create, to love, to embellish, to enjoy, to envision.
Right.
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[Dec 16 2008 / 11:00pm] |
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Tyler is just looking for a conclusion.
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[Nov 26 2008 / 6:48pm] |
I feel like I am the one to fall back on.
And I have no one to fall back on.
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